Well, I’m exhausted lol. Another layer of healing pulled back and processed yesterday.
What I have noticed is that once upon a time, triggers took days, even weeks, for me to process, and during that time, I would slip into depression and sabotage my friendships. I would be immersed in and suffocated by darkness.
Yesterday, during the trigger and processing process, I was a little disoriented when a friend came knocking on the door, but I was functioning and to a high level. In fact, the visit brought the remaining cortisol down. Apart from tired, my self-care and tool kit of strategies took me through the process.
Very often, the triggers are not the cause of the emotional and/or psychological chaos. They just trigger it. I’ve found, that as I’ve added to my tool kit, the triggers no longer disrupt my life or my psyche for long.
I think the greatest tool I use to return myself to balance is what I’ve learned from Mai Mai in our sessions, and from reading Dr John Demartini’s books and applying the ideas.
I no longer have to look for the support in the moment – it is always there in some form – I still acknowledge the step as part of the process though.
The drawbacks are always fairly obvious, and then I focus on the benefits and list them one by one. I also now connect them to my values – how does this incident support my highest values?
Then, after that intense work, I’m just tired and yesterday, I practiced self-care. I apologized for not being able to attend an event I had been looking forward to, and I was honest about why, which whilst embarrassing and shameful (in my eyes at the time) liberated me in the long term.
It is so important that we use our voices and share where we are. Honesty enables trust in relationships and removes guilt.
Ultimately, yesterday was an opportunity for me to walk the talk, and to demonstrate to others how I did this.
Healing is a lifelong process, and that’s okay, because I’ve got this.
Poor George 😝 onwards and upwards