Life CAN Be Hard

Modern life can be really hard. We work long hours to pay for the rent/mortgage, power, gas, phone, internet, cars and their many expenses, food, school fees, and the list goes on.

The time we have off, we feel pressured to socialise and catch up, when all we really want to do is lie on the lounge to prepare our energy to repeat the entire process the following week.

Life can be hard.

It doesn’t have to be.

We choose for it to be.

Me included.

It doesn’t have to be though.

Three weeks ago, I turned my intermittent meditation into a daily ritual. I’m sleeping much better and more deeply. I wake feeling more energetic.

I’m not the guru of meditation. I use an app (Insight Timer) and I try different meditations, mostly guided. It works for me.

A week ago, I decided to follow my sister’s example and, except for business, disengage from social media. All of a sudden, without mindless scrolling, I have more ‘free’ time. My mind is less cluttered and I feel more grounded.

I also decided to stand on the grass for five minutes a day to just breathe. I feel more centred and calmer.

I’m consciously and mindfully eating and engaging with food. I have more energy and feel like I’m healing my body.

Life can be hard. Our choices make the difference.

LessonsĀ 

It has been a massive couple of weeks for me – thanks Brene lol. I go back to work next week and if I wasn’t travelling, I think I would be excited. This is going to be a good year. 

Over the next couple of days, in the middle of the ocean, sailing home, without Internet, I am going to write out some plans for myself to help me achieve my goals for this year. 

One of the biggest obstacles to my success in anything is myself. Go figure lol. I am resolved to not being so this year. And one of my most important goals for myself is to lose some weight. 

I realise that my weight is how I keep telling myself I don’t think I’m worth very much. Intellectually I know I am exceptionally valuable but emotionally, not so much. My weight clearly tells me this. Somewhere in my psyche I am stuck in my past. I need to find out where (I have some ideas) and work through the shame issues that are attached to this. 

In terms of diet, I was using the optifast shakes at the end of last year and whilst they are sort of working, I can’t maintain it. Juicing has also worked temporarily in the past. 

But I need to move from temporary so I am opting to just watch what I eat and add some regular exercise. I am ultimately aiming for health, to stop emotionally eating or at least minimise it by becoming more conscious of it. I’m hoping that by putting more nutrients in, expending a little more energy, and working through the shame attached to my weight, I may be onto a winning formula for me. 

I can only try …