A Moment

I’ve learned something today.

My middle fur kid has displayed significant behaviour problems recently. He’s usually pretty much perfect, but the last few weeks have proved hard for him.

I woke up, not for the first time in recent weeks, sick. Sore throat, snotty nose, lethargic.

I decided to stay home. Disappoint people, but look after me. I’m worth it, you see. Hehe.

Best decision.

House is clean. Washing is done. Tutoring lessons done. School prep done. Lawns mowed. Bedroom re-ordered. All washing put away.

The introvert has recharged her batteries and doesn’t feel like she’s starting the week already chasing her tail.

Just wanted to share the moment of success.

New Moon Intentions

Today, I transplanted the mint I started growing last new moon, with my intentions still in the soil, into the garden.

When I reflect on the past month, I can see how those intentions have started manifesting in my life.

Obviously, the one with the most success to date, is the multi-millionaire intention. Interestingly, my intention for owning my own worth has also been manifesting.

Demartini says that one cannot exist without the other. It makes sense. To earn money, the big bucks, you need to possess an inherent belief that you are worthy of the big bucks.

This year’s journey is not as exciting as last year’s year of travel, in a superficial way, but is remarkably exciting with its promise of regeneration and renewal.

A seed blooming 😜.

Tonight, I will set this month’s intentions. I am not entirely sure what they will be.

Fair Exchange

Dr John Demartini, in his book, How To Make One Hell Of A Profit And Still Get To Heaven, refers to the universal law of fair exchange. I have read this chapter twice now. Both times, epiphany after epiphany.

My self-aware focus at the moment is to receive graciously.

I become overwhelmed and clumsy, and downright ungracious, when someone does something for me, compliments me, loves me, likes me, talks to me, says nice things about spending time with me, or working with me, and it has to change. I’ve tried to be better by acknowledging the nice thing, whatever it is, but ultimately, I just feel clumsy.

My business, in particular, is providing many opportunities/confrontations of this type. My clients refer me to other people. They value my service. They value what I do. They value me.

A struggle for me.

As much as I have grown, deep down in the wounds, I still struggle to see my worth. I struggle to see that I am, basically, a good person worthy of everything her heart desires.

And, the Law of Fair Exchange, went straight to the heart of this for me. I give a lot to others. I need to be willing to receive from others. If I don’t, my life, and the universe, falls out of alignment. The crux of my financial status rests here.

I give. I must receive. That equals balance. Balance equals prosperity. I express gratitude rather than discomfort, and that nurtures prosperity.

If I set clear guidelines for payment and expectations of and for my clients in my business, everyone feels comfortable, knows where they stand, and balance is achieved. If I fail to set clear guidelines and boundaries, our needs become confused, and balance is compromised. This leaves us all feeling out of sorts.

I am currently charging below my worth. I am finally embracing this (thank you, Mai Mai). I have much growth to do in this area. But, I’m on the path, and I think I now get it.

Fair Exchange also works for relationships. We need to receive as much as we give, give as much as we receive, and when we do, the relationship is healthy. If we don’t, we lose the relationship or let it go.

Balance, equilibrium, fairness, serves us all. There is enough for all. We are not in competition. We only lose when we act as if we are.

I think …

The Fear of Change

If you read this blog regularly, you know that this week I have opened new bank accounts. Scott Pape, the Barefoot Investor, suggests that you open online bank accounts without fees. He then suggests that you have your pay transferred directly into the Everyday account.

Logical. It ensures that the $1000 deposit per month happens with minimal fuss and effort.

Terrified me.

It is only during the last 24 hours that I have started to feel comfortable with letting go of a bank account I have held for over twenty years. An account that has seen every cent I’ve ever earned as a teacher go through it. The rigmarole of reorganizing my direct debits is a little overwhelming, but I’ll do it.


I’m giving myself time for the crossover between old and new.

This is a small change in my life, realistically.

However, the fear and discomfort of traversing new ground holds for all change. Large and small.

Change, letting go of what was, is not easy.

Vital for growth, but not easy.

And, sometimes, we find we are ready to change, but we need to have patience before we are in the best possible position to jump.

I’ve sat with leaving teaching for a few months. My heart and head, surprisingly, are ready. My finances are not. My business is strong, but I need to pay off some debts before I am able to jump. I could do it now, but the stress it would cause is not worth it. In the long term, patience will be rewarded with a stronger financial foundation and I won’t need to sacrifice as much as I would need to now.

This small process though, holds for bigger changes. Whenever we move from one state of being to another, it is hard. And there are moments afterwards, when we are in transition, letting go of the old and creating the new, where loneliness/fear/trepidation take over, and it doesn’t matter how horrible the old was, we long for the comfort of knowing.

Courage. Don’t go backwards. Breathe deeply through the transition. Hold onto your hopes and dreams.

This too, my friends, shall pass.

Banging On lol

So, had a shocker yesterday. Not a tearful shocker or a sad shocker, but a stressful shocker. I left home at 7 yesterday morning and arrived home again at ten to midnight last night.

School was fine until after lunch. That’s 1135am. After that, the kids became unsettled as tensions grew. My school has a very unjustified bad reputation. There are significantly more good things happening than negative.

However, yesterday afternoon, two new students (one arrived this year and the other last year) decided to start trouble with each other. The kids sense this and tension rises. We handle it as a school; we don’t ignore it. That keeps kids and staff safe. It makes work harder though, balancing every one’s needs as well as your own. By the end of a busy school day, my shoulders were tight and my neck stiff. I carry stress in these areas. A slight hum of migraine started.

I woke late this morning, skipped yoga as a result, and ended up getting a massage. Good decision. My shoulders, neck and back are looser. I feel better. A bridge between the stress of yesterday and the potential of today.

Self care, my friends, self care. Always put this first. No employer, no job, no commitment, nothing, is worth compromising your own well-being. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your self first. If you can’t function at your best, you reduce your chances of happiness and fulfillment. Everyone suffers at this point, not just you.

It’s almost selfish to push through when you can’t.

Look after you first. You won’t regret it.

Barefoot Investor Update

Well. Friday last week I saw Mai Mai. I took my DeMartini money homework and felt a shift in my attitude towards money and finance. I had had some difficult communications regarding money, and had started to appreciate the value and quality of the services I offer my clients.

Mai Mai recommended a book that I have been contemplating/drawn to every month on Audible, but hadn’t purchased because of what I now realize was my fear of finance. I listened to the universe and Mai Mai, and downloaded it when I arrived home.

I started listening to it on Saturday morning and my life changed.

This week, I paid more bills and seem to have caught up on those. I’ve booked my car in for new tyres (mine are almost gone), I’ve opened new bank accounts and organized a time to close the old ones, I’ve checked out my superannuation account, compared my private health insurance to others and will be getting rid of my extras package (which I’ve never used), listed all of my debts and all of my fortnightly expenses, and have analysed my income for March.

Because of my business, my income can change in the months of school holidays, so I’ve started April’s sheet too. I will be generating less income during April because of the school holidays.

Sadly, I’ve cancelled my travel plans for this year to get ahead financially. The hard work now, and for this year, should ensure that my finances stabilize, which means I will be in a good position to take leave from school teaching next year (fingers crossed I’m allowed to).

If this happens, I will have the time to build the healing side of my business and become self-sustainable. This will provide more time for me to write and I should achieve greater balance and have less stress (significantly), and this should see an improvement in my health.

It is a great feeling to take control. I just needed the tools. The things I’m good at, I’m great at. For the things I’m not good at, like everyone else, I need an easy plan to follow, I need to develop the skills through acquiring the knowledge.

If you are not where you want to be financially, I cannot recommend Scott’s book, The Barefoot Investor, highly enough. He’s humble, funny, and speaks at a layman level (most of the time).

Difficulties in Receiving

When I think of my closest people, one of the qualities that is consistent amongst most of us, is the difficulty we express or experience in receiving.

By receiving, I mean asking for help, and then receiving gifts, support, favours, compliments, appreciation, you name it, we struggle. Interestingly, another trait we all possess is that we would give everything and anything to others.

For various reasons, this is where our differences lie, we struggle to receive what we willingly give.

It’s interesting. Something I’ve noticed recently. I wonder if that’s why they are my people; if this value/quality is what connects people who are exceptionally different on the surface.

IVF Healing

There will always be the tiniest twinge in my heart when someone tells me they are pregnant. Always.

I think though, that would be the case regardless of whether I had tried to conceive or not. Regardless of my own infertility.

I am at the point now where I am very grateful that people close to me choose to share their news with me. I think I’m at the point where I am almost normal. As normal as I could be lol.

I think the twinge would exist anyway because we always question, in some moments, whether a different path would have been better. Well, actually, I don’t question that anymore. I can see the paths I have followed to lead me here. I am grateful for them. I think I am beginning to fulfil my human potential.

I think the twinge is the emotional memory of loss. Whilst I am grateful I never carried to term, I do think of the child I miscarried. A few times each year really. I think how life could have been different for me. And, without being callous, I do believe my life is in a more suitable place for who I am.

Not being a birth mother enabled and empowered me to rebirth my life, albeit not by conscious choice. I like my transition. I like that I’ve travelled. I like that I’m learning and growing. I like that I meet wonderful people. I like that I’m steering this ship.

There is life after failing to become a mother to my own child. There is good life. It has taken a long long time to appreciate this, but I have definitely arrived here now.

I am grateful for life.


I woke up this morning with the stirrings of illness. My usual MO: sore throat, running nose, lethargy. I know what’s caused it. Doctors might say I’ve caught a bug. Probably correct.

But, the reason I caught the bug is being run down, burning the candle, you get the drift.

Last year, it took me a while to get used to the lack of routine. For probably the first time in my life, my life was unstructured. This year, well, it’s taking me time to get used to the routine lol.

Transition is always difficult in different ways at different times.

Self-care is vital in a smooth transition. So often we make excuses or feel guilty about putting our own needs first. Most of the people I know put everyone else before themselves. I have spent most of my life putting the needs of others first, often missing out on positive things that bring me happiness, along the way.

This afternoon I had the pleasure of offering some healing with the forks to a friend.

We both benefited from this.

We went to Macarthur Park in Camden; I felt a calling for us to be in natural surrounds and up high. We sat in the gazebo, looking out over the park and the church group congregating, and I used the forks on my friend.

Afterwards, as we walked back to our cars, we took our shoes off to walk in the grass. Grounding our souls in to the earth’s life force. I hugged an old tree, and as I rested my cheek alongside its girth, I heard it’s hum.

It’s an amazing feeling, synergising your energy with the energy of another sentient being. Barefoot, connecting to source, slowing down our fast pace, deliberately and consciously breathing.

Perfection within imperfection.

My priority this week, is me.

I will not get sick. I’m listening to, and hearing, the warning symptoms. I have learned. I am worth putting my needs first.

Barefoot Investor

Money is not my thing. Wanting to leave teaching and being a multi- millionaire has become my thing. So, I’m reading and practicing Dr John Demartini’s stuff and today I started listening to the Barefoot Investor.

My first barefoot date is tomorrow night.

This book is great. I can feel my attitude towards money changing. It’s funny too, the fears I have, he articulates and then dismantles.

I’m developing a plan. Wealth consciousness and financial freedom here I come.