Taking Stock

It’s hard being me. Lol. I overthink everything. I always have. Jan’s passing really shocked and overwhelmed me. I just didn’t stop crying last night. I’ve woken up looking very malformed this morning and am praying that my face goes back to a more normal appearance before I go to work.

I’m very introspective. I couldn’t engage any of my strategies last night. And, as a result, I have remembered that feeling the intensity of emotion that comes with intense things is okay. I can Demartini it all later today or later this week (later today lol). I will restore the balance to my perception.

I think my massive flood of tears and sobbing last night was a culmination of a lot of emotion, not all mine, triggered by the shock of such a beautiful soul no longer being here physically, and that realisation again that our lives are short.

Also, exhaustion. All I have done for months is work. And recently, I have supported a lot of people in their healing processes, consciously and unconsciously. I let my emotional account become very depleted. Today, I will start to rebalance that.

So, Jan, thank you for reminding me to give to me, for reminding me that I am worth something beyond my service to others, and that I need to create a family circle of my own so that I am not left alone.


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