Wow.

I have just heard that a lady I worked with at my old school has passed. I adored her. The tears aren’t stemming their flow and I’m feeling lost.

This has made me realise how disconnected from people I have become. Working seven days a week and keeping a business afloat whilst studying is exceptionally tiring. There is little energy or time for staying in contact with people. I’m hard to contact; I work when others are not.

It makes me realise how blessed I am to have worked with so many amazing people in a variety of schools.

Jan was an amazing woman. She loved the kids at school and gave so willingly to them. I adored her. She had an open smile that brought peace to the soul. I called her JanTina and I was TinaJan. I can’t remember why. But, that’s what we did.

Amidst all of the trauma that work can cause, it is the beautiful souls that you meet and share time with that lessen the impact of the hard days as you move forward in solidarity. I feel for her friends in the Office; other women I adore.

I think the worst thing we can do is to tell people the impact they’ve made in our hearts and on our souls. It requires courage and trust, and we are all just so freaking vulnerable.

I know Jan will ‘hear’ this. Jan, I adored you. I thought you were a wonderfully loving and compassionate presence for so many. You left your mark at school and on me. I will love you always, but must clean the snot off my face.

Rest In Peace beautiful soul,

TinaJan

xxxxx

3 thoughts on “Wow.

  1. So sorry to hear about your loss. See if you can visit her grave and offer some flowers (and some tears, if possible). This will soothe your spirit and help you understand this reality that wherever we came from, we are all headed back. Its only a matter of time. You will definitely meet her if you truly love her like you showed over here. And yes, we are all lucky to have such awesome individuals around us to make our seemingly hard lives feel a (temporary) breath of fresh air. The more I am losing such awesome individuals back to their graves, the more I am getting ready by being a better individual to people around me who’d one day feel the same whenever I am gone. We are all temporary visitors on this planet earth and let’s have a wonderful time being around each other, making this trip (of life) worthwhile. Hugs!

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  2. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    So sorry to hear about your loss. See if you can visit her grave and offer some flowers (and some tears, if possible). This will soothe your spirit and help you understand this reality that wherever we came from, we are all headed back. Its only a matter of time. You will definitely meet her if you truly love her like you showed over here. And yes, we are all lucky to have such awesome individuals around us to make our seemingly hard lives feel a (temporary) breath of fresh air. The more I am losing such awesome individuals back to their graves, the more I am getting ready by being a better individual to people around me who’d one day feel the same whenever I am gone. We are all temporary visitors on this planet earth and let’s have a wonderful time being around each other, making this trip (of life) worthwhile. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 🙏🏻 thank you. I usually don’t have such a response to death – I understand and accept it. I think, for me, it resulted from exhaustion and a lack of balance, plus I had a few very heavy healing sessions for other people during the last week.

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