Human beings are amazing. Each of us has the potential to survive anything, be anything, do anything, and everything. Even in death, we can inspire and empower others.
So many humans, though, choose not to. We allow ourselves to become stuck, to become crippled, to become small, to not achieve all that we can.
I was stuck for so long. When I reflect, I know that my soul was no longer filled with passion for the work I did. There were moments of passion, but they only served to make me think I hadn’t become stuck.
I learned new pedagogies to support my teaching (which I am and will always be grateful for). I had new adventures, like trying to have a baby (for too many years). I studied and learned new things. I went on annual trips with people I love. But, I was still stuck.
I’ve written about this before. 2016 became a life-changing year for me. I had not listened to the whispers of being stuck, had not listened to the talking or the shouting or the screaming of the universe. I was paralyzed. All I had ever wanted to be was a teacher. Or a writer. I didn’t know what else was out there, and truth be told, I didn’t think there was anything else out there.
When I let fear dictate inaction, the universe decided to give me one more shot before my passion for life was extinguished and I just went through the motions of being alive.
Out of fear, I made a decision at the end of 2015 that would come to haunt me, repeatedly, throughout 2016. Rebelling against fear, and realizing I needed a complete change, I made a decision at the end of 2016 that has saved me life.
I took a year leave from my job. I was lucky to have a boss who saw the need and, even though he knew it would mean the eventual loss of an amazing teacher from the public education system, he approved my leave and didn’t force my hand towards resignation. I will eternally be grateful to and for him for his support during the yuckiest year of my life.
Jumping forced me to do and to try and to experience different things. I saw the potential for my life, for anyone’s life.
None of us have to be stuck. It takes a bit of courage to change things, whatever things might need changing, and a jump doesn’t have to be as extreme as mine was (I hadn’t listened for a long time). We all deserve to be living wholly and happily.
My life is in transition. Last year was my gap year. This year is a consolidating and transitioning year. Next year, who knows.
I won’t be going backwards. I love living again. I love the potential of, and for, my life. Every day is magickal. I feel things again, deeply, everything. And most of it is infinitely positive and happy.
I stop to take photos of beautiful things. I talk to the animals as I drive past them. I notice the trees, the clouds, the sun, the moon, life. I have rituals. I work hard, with love. I trust. I have faith. I smile, from my heart.
This … this, was worth the jump.