Taking a Step Backwards

Taking a step backwards does not equate with failure. All of us are on our own paths, and as frustrating as it can be, we are all where we are supposed to be in any given moment.

My dad always says, If you are doing what you love doing, you will never work a day in your life.

He is right. That’s how I once felt about teaching in a school. This week (Lord knows why it was this week), I realised this, again.

I love the kids I teach, love being in my classroom, love being with some of the adults in my school, but that’s about where the love ends. My soul used to believe in me as a teacher and the flame of inspiration burned brightly. It has dimmed.

I count the moments until the end of the day when I get to leave school and go to work with my tutoring students. This lights my soul’s fire. After a yucky afternoon on Tuesday, working with my kids rejuvenated me. My voice and my mindset became buoyant. This is my soul work.

When we are not living our best life, we know it. We can deny it, make excuses, avoid the reality, but it doesn’t change the reality.

When we are not motivated and inspired to go to work, we are not doing our soul’s work. And, when we don’t do our soul’s work, we are not as happy as we deserve to be. We are failing to live our best life.

This is when depression, anxiety, sadness, fear and illness start to claim our life as their own. We all deserve better than that.

So, the realisation came to me in rolling messages from the universe, as I outlined in my last post. I need to change it. I need to be patient so that my fear can catch up to my enlightenment.

Owning the need to change my life, to let go of fear, is the first step in a long line of first steps.

When I was in relaxation during yoga yesterday morning, my Obi Wan guide came to me as I floated amongst the stars. He told me to trust life as I trust floating. Gabby Bernstein, this morning, told me to mantra, I am learning through love, as I listened to The Universe Has Your Back. I started listening again, earlier this week, when I needed a trigger to remember that the universe will always hold me safely as long as I embrace it in trust.

I have started Mai Mai’s work for me, Demartini’ing my poverty consciousness and blocks to abundance. I am getting bills paid and things done by prioritising my spending. I am reinventing my business, reminding myself what I specifically love doing and reminding myself that I am worthy of the very best life offers. I am remembering that I will always land on my feet, that I am safe, and that I am worthy of living the life I want without exception.

I am a work in progress, striving for better.

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