I am listening to my recording. It is stirring up some strong childhood emotions. My voice feels different to me. Almost childlike at times. I feel so sad for me.
The first section focused on me and my dad's anger, and how I handled that within myself. I didn't speak my own anger and frustration with my parents when I was younger. Interestingly, when prompted, I said I was holding all of this in my stomach, and it was burning in my stomach. But, I believed that keeping the anger there would keep me centred and grounded. I also said that I spent a lot of time looking up at the sky and would often have to be reminded to "use my Head".
Gabrielle then asked me what I would like to do with the energy that I've been holding in my stomach for forty years, to release it, and I said that I'd like to scream. I screamed. Primal. Raw. And, then a big sigh.
I let go of my balled up fists as a five year old. I felt my five year old stomach release even though it still felt tight. My forty six year old throat became sore and I started coughing.
"She didn't have a voice," I said.
My stomach then felt very bloated, and I remarked that it felt very full of air. Gabrielle directed me to the air in my belly and I saw Saturn.
I went to Saturn. Dry and red rock. Then I described the alien form. I was happy with the big belly; it was my belly. I couldn't see the buildings on Saturn but I knew that they were there. And then I felt that they weren't on the planet, and I moved to the scenes from Bolivia with the man, his wife and the toddler.
I found a gold key there. It was a key to my past around health: getting back to basics, simple living, balance and harmony. The woman wanted for nothing. She was satisfied within herself by the connections around her. And then it moved to the birthing scene. The baby was born too early. The woman was very, very sad, in a lot of pain, and her husband was outside, also very, very sad. Their child was of spirit and we carry those children with us.
Her pain was in her right knee because she had been unwilling to move forward. I then watched the woman unwrap the bandage from her knee and stretch her leg out. Her spirit magnified and a white silver light encased her in a positive way; her spirit became lighter. She started to smile. Her husband is surprised. They hug each other and cry together. Her energy shifted with his, and they became encased in soft pink energy and their hearts connected.
As their hearts connected, I felt warmth in my stomach, and breathed that energy into my traumatized parts of self. First to my stomach, then to my ovaries which I described as "dead ovaries, not for childbirth", and then I felt relieved and liberated, "That wasn't my path."
I interpreted the liberation as permission to not live a normal life and to reach my fullest potential. I then received, or so I said, that I had had many lifetimes with many children. And then my stomach illuminated to a crystal light. My body became crystalline and you can hear my voice, in awe, of what I was seeing. The crystal started to shatter but not to destroy me, it was destroying blocks I had created.
I then stepped out of my body and saw what Gabrielle called, my purest essence, a white ball of energy. I could then see the world from a higher dimensional perspective. I was seeing this because I needed to remember, and I moved to a shimmery form between lifetimes.
There were a lot of shapes there but I couldn't see clearly. I felt like I was sitting at what we would call a desk but wasn't a desk. I was reading and smiling; I was happy with the lessons I had decided on for this lifetime.
I am meant to make a difference; meant to help raise the vibrations. There are a lot of us who have come for this same reason. We will come back again, together, and we will succeed next time. I told Gabrielle that I had goosebumps.
My soul group and I all chose to come back; we didn't have to. There are many more of us to still come. We are spanning many generations in this lifetime, and we have had many before but the numbers are growing.
Gabrielle asked why our mission was so important, "Because we need to be happy. We need to make the planet happy. And then the universe. And the universe can't be happy and fulfilled and in balance if the planets aren't individually in alignment."
I then moved to a cooler day in a different dimension; the raised vibration and potential of the Earth realized. We keep coming back because we are trying to get home, to where we are supposed to be, to Balachus.
I then talk about how the planet has been corrupted by pollution, movement away from spirit and from knowing. I then mention the code of respect and nurture, but we have let other beings come in to rape and pillage. Their aim is to make us forget who we are and where we came from. They have sent distractions.
And then I saw ghouls come through before moving higher than the Earth. From there I could see the grid points over the Earth and I described them to Gabrielle, the lights connecting the universe to the planet. Then I saw myself standing there with others, and we were nodding and happy, and we will see our mission completed successfully.
Our cloaks were foggy white with stars. We have no name, "We just are." And my voice again, just in awe, as I watch and recount what I'm seeing. The planet actually lifted. The lights get brighter and stronger as they go in and come back, "creating a light connection," and then we move to darker planets to help them.
Man, you need to hear this to believe it I think.
I then see us preparing to go to heal the other planets. There are many of us but in the core, only six or seven. The people behind us are a pale light but we are all progressing. Taking many incarnations, millenia, but it's not in Earth time, it's all in the moment.
I then say I became distracted this life time thinking I had to present as normal (wtf – really). It took time, I say, because it took time for me to realise and accept my full potential, but also because I needed to garner trust to be able to empower others to trust me.
We are all meant to be doing this work. People need to be awakened to do this work fully. People remember they should do this work but their own healing obstacles stop them from fully engaging (this is virtually word for word I swear). When they heal, they can reprogram.
This was the first fifty minutes of an hour and forty three minutes. There will be a Part Four. I need to process what I've just heard. I'm a bit blown away.