Dominant Culture Privilege

You know, it’s very easy to sit back and judge. It’s probably the easiest thing in the world to do. Even easier to sit and judge from your own perspective, your own context, and not give time to a different perspective.

We are all guilty of this. Including me. And, regrettably, I continue to be despite my best efforts to be a better and less judgemental, more open, person.

For all of my youthful years I celebrated Australia Day on 26 January. I am, and always have been, in principle, a proud Australian. I am not always proud of my countrymen’s behaviour, choices and attitudes, but I love Australia and the potential it offers for an amazing life.

At some point though, in my celebration of Australia Day, I hit a point of realisation, as I became better educated, that that particular day was a day that marks a period of time that Australians today should not be proud of. For our first people, our Indigenous brothers and sisters, it marks a horrific turning point in their collective history.

The start of a genocide, not just of people, but of language, culture, beliefs, tribal systems and hierarchies, their entire way of life and way of knowing was attacked. Today, we still see the impact of this, and statistics validate the argument that there is a significant gap between the success rates in education of the dominant culture to the indigenous culture.

The Stolen Generations, as one example only, is not something restricted to the past. The forcible and government mandated removal of children from their biological parent is something that occurred during my lifetime. The effects of this still impact an entire generation of people.

And so, I stopped celebrating. I stopped attending barbeques, stopped listening to the hottest hundred, stopped participating in Invasion Day. At the time, most people didn’t get it. Today, more and more people are starting to express the same sentiment.

I don’t mind being different when I am standing in my truth.

In Australia, we pride ourselves on the ideal of inclusivity. I don’t believe that we are. I think we are deluding ourselves. We may once have been, but even this is highly doubtful to me. Inclusivity exists only for the dominant culture.

As a child of migrant parents, one German, in the seventies and eighties, at school, post WWII, I remember being bullied for being a “kraut” and kids would chant “Sieg Heil” at me.

What dicks.

But, as a child, I was told I was different; there was no inclusivity here. And, I only knew Australia. I was born here. This was my home. As an adult who chose blonde hair, I had other adults inform me that I could not possibly understand racism; I belonged to the dominant, blonde haired, Australian culture.

As a high school teacher with interesting ideals, pedagogy and methodology, I have always felt marginalised. I have never quite belonged because I have never embraced the status quo; it didn’t work for me. So, I found teaching not very inclusive too.

What I have learned from all of this, plus more, is that until we have walked in the shoes of another, or made serious attempts to empathise with the perspective of another, we are engaging in dominant culture privilege.

Just because the majority may think it, doesn’t make it right or true or inclusive. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t change or revise or grow. When one person does not feel included, we cannot argue that we are an inclusive democracy.

Do I even need to connect marriage equality to this argument. No question mark. Seriously, Australia, wake up. Dominant culture privilege.

And, the rights of people with disability. I know a child with Autism who is being deliberately bullied at a local Catholic high school by a mob of his peers, to the extent that he is expressing extreme anxiety and suicidal tendencies, whilst the school continues to argue that they can’t do anything about it. Dominant culture privilege.

We are so ego based that we fail to focus on what is in the collective best interests. We don’t want to ‘lose’ that which is sacred to us, but we are happy to deprive others of the same.

Time to evolve, to ascend, to be better because we know better.

Arrival

I just finished watching a beautifully made and evolved film; it has left me in tears of faith, empowerment, belief, awareness. Oh, man.

I have never been a fan of science fiction, beyond Star Wars, that is. This film though, has touched something deep within my knowing or my remembering. I was mesmerised. I needed to wee but couldn’t move from my seat until it was almost too late.

It is about time. And about a different reality. One where time is not linear, but where past, present and future all exist as one. Where we live our lives in many lifetimes, all at once.

I saw a spaceship last week. Quite low. On the way home from work. I felt such a pull towards it that I wanted to pull over and sacrifice myself to it. And then I felt an overwhelming sense of longing for home. Tonight’s viewing of Arrival has consolidated my understanding; there is so much more than what we know as humans in this three dimensional reality. So much more.

I then received some guidance. Keep answering the calls. Easy enough to do.

We should all answer our calls. When you feel a deep longing or desire to do something, do it, as long as it doesn’t hurt others. If we all answered the calls we receive, I believe our world would change, and we would ascend faster as a planet.

If you’ve made it to this point with me, thank you. I’m not crazy. Since Minnesota, I have had a deep awareness and profound understanding of the more. Or, maybe I am crazy, but it isn’t hurting anyone so it’s all good.

😜🙏🏻

Perplexed

I often stay away from using those little ads-ons on Facebook. You know, those things you can attach temporarily to your profile picture. I think the only ones I have ever attached were for the Syrian crisis and miscarriage awareness. I might be wrong, but I don’t think so.

I realised this morning why I stay away from them. I’m fairly open with what I believe, and most people can predict what’s my politics lie after even a short conversation with me. This morning I was scrolling through my newsfeed and one of my friends has one of those things on their profile picture. Irrelevant what it is about, but it goes against what I believe and I felt jarred when I read it.

One of my fundamental beliefs, lying at the core of all of my beliefs, is that we all have the right to do whatever we want to AS LONG AS WHAT WE DO HURTS NO ONE ELSE. I try very hard to not hurt others, and when I feel that I have, I own it and try to make good.

I understand why we need laws: to protect the rights and freedoms of all. But, for the life of me, I do not understand why marriage comes under that, for two consenting adult people anyway.

It perplexes me that this is such an issue in my home country. We tout ourselves as a welcoming and inclusive country, very relaxed and happy people living the good life.

I think we must mean though, only if you are white and a Christian and heterosexual and mainstream and you don’t push any buttons or believe in weird things. As long as you fit into the box.

My whole teaching career, I never really fit into that box, the one that makes you an acceptable teacher, a role model for others. No one looked at my practice and said, “Man, she really gets the kids to work hard and they seem to enjoy it. We should try to learn from what she is doing.”

Instead, I was marginalised, talked about, targeted, judged, shut down. People perceived me as arrogant rather than knowledgable. People think I pushed the boundaries too far rather than doing what I needed to inspire my kids to want more from themselves.

Interestingly, the qualities I felt condemned for in schools, that I believe made me an exceptional teacher, definitely one of the very best, are the qualities that are growing my business. I am grateful.

I think society, meaning all of us, needs to be careful how we judge other people, and really look at the boxes we confine people to. I think, too often, we are stopping integral people from being exactly who they are and exactly what this world needs.

I think we need to check ourselves on this. All of the time.

Sleep evades me

I would like to see the eclipse. I am grateful for the technology that ensures that I will. I can’t sleep. I’m just not tired. I have felt sick for a week, but today I felt it shift. I feel calmer, more centred, more grounded, more blissful.

I had a moment earlier tonight. My book is constantly on my mind. It hasn’t felt quite right yet. My writing is flowing and it’s okay, but I think I lacked courage to write the book I am supposed to write. Tonight I heard the call and remembered to heed the call.

It was forecast, this book, years ago. A book with a healing paradigm to help heal trauma, of any kind. Using my healing plan.

Yes. That is the right framework.

And, so, I can’t sleep. I am too tired to write. I will meditate.

Last night in meditation before sleep, my room lit up with yellow lights. It felt so real. My work took me to India to heal families. But it wasn’t the frenetic reprogramming it has been; it was calmer. I was there in soul only. My body was allowed to sleep. I think that’s where I have been going wrong.

I have crazy ideas that make complete sense to me. Thankfully, also to some of the people I have collected. There is a different world 🌎 or space out there. I believe strongly that utopia can and does exist. We are fighting to hold it, and we will win.

Dark can only remain strong until light eclipses it. The rebirth is now. The union of sun and moon, of all polarity, duality, difference, ends soon. A new wave is coming. It is time.

I so wasn’t going to do this, but

I am absolutely disgusted that we have a postal plebiscite to determine whether all Australian citizens deserve basic human rights. I honestly cannot fathom how the majority of Australians want everyone to have the right to get married, yet our elected representatives refuse to vote for it in Parliament and do the job we elected them to do: represent us.

What is with this. And, what on earth is wrong with people that they honestly believe that giving everyone the right to marry someone they love is going to impact their life.

And, I do not want anyone to explain it to me, because realistically, there is no logical premise in existence that will convince me you are right. All the plebiscite is currently achieving is getting young people to enrol (so that the next government of Australia will not be this fascist regime; silver lining), marginalizing people and communities, and inciting ignorant bigots to speak their hateful vitriol.

Grrrrrr … so annoying.

Trust – Yikes.

As a result of the way I processed the trauma from my childhood, I really struggle with trusting people to support me. I don’t expect that they will because, ultimately, I believed the narrative I wrote for myself as a child: I wasn’t deserving; I wasn’t worthy.

As a result, I have ALWAYS struggled to ask people for help. ALWAYS. And, when I say struggled, I generally haven’t been able to ask for help because I haven’t believed it would be there and then the narrative would be true.

As I grew up, as I moved through adulthood, until recently, I shut down in times of stress and pain, rather than be told I wasn’t worthy or important enough to receive help. It was never helped that when I did find courage to reach out, I either wasn’t clear enough in my request, or it was too hard for people to support me (not knowing how, not realising how desperate I was, etc).

All legitimately, and often because I failed to communicate my needs clearly through abject fear of rejection. However, in my traumatised brain, the ensuing refusal to support or failed realisation that I needed it, only reinforced my childhood narrative. It made me shrink further.

I have been working hard on improving and healing myself. I have worked to remove blocks to abundance and worked to remove obstacles that I imposed in friendships. I have worked hard to become the very best version of myself, and that has also meant sacrificing control.

As a traumatised child, I had no control. As a damaged adult, I have over compensated the control area of my life. Detrimentally.

For years, decades, I have tried to control everything. The investigation last year was a real and significant turning point for me in my healing journey. I had no control over anything except me. No control. Read, nightmare.

But, it forced me to start to trust myself. And I started to trust and utilise my Higher Self and my guides (those nagging voices we sometimes here; call it what you will). I heeded the call and went to India, and my life completely changed. A true transformation to become my best self.

Very recently, I have struggled with some minor obstacles (first world problems completely) and I have had to reach out twice for real support. I struggle with this still. But I have grown enough to realise that I need to clearly communicate what I need. I also accepted that support may not be possible through no fault of the others; I was asking a lot.

Both times, my request for support was very lovingly heard and acted upon. I spent more time agonising than was necessary. More time stressing and feeling awkward than was necessary.

I am so grateful. Grateful for the support I received lovingly. Grateful that I am growing. Grateful that I have created a life where second, third, fourth and tenth chances are offered. Grateful that I can trust other people to support me. Grateful that I realise it is on me.

It is easy to blame others and say, I am always there for others and no one is there for me. I hear this often. I used to say it. Often. But, it’s on us.

The universe is a big place; there is enough for all of us to have what we need and want.

However, we need to clearly communicate what we want and need. And, we need to understand that to achieve it, we need to trust those around us. We need to provide the opportunity for others to support us. We need to accept that not everyone will or can support us, and this is not a reflection of our worth and value.

Easier to say than do, I get that. I am a forty six year work in progress. But, it is getting easier. I am surrounding myself with people who have been through a lot with me, who have tolerated a lot, but also, in the last four or so years, I’ve also become discerning in who I give my heart and trust to, and that is making the difference.

I am a giving person. I am a loving person. And, I am surrounding myself with like minded souls who get me. I am grateful for this.

Trust will be an ongoing journey for me. I feel guilt when I accept help. This is ridiculous. I would do what I could for most people, whether they are in my inner circle or not. I should at least expect and accept the same for me.

And, if this has resonated with you, so should you 😘

🙏🏻🦋

Sick 🤢

I have been coughing and feeling very ordinary since Tuesday. So much internal change and processing in recent times; it was bound to catch up.

I worked in a local primary school during the week. I had a Stage 3 class. I like having one class for a whole day; you feel like you are doing more than babysitting. I had a few beautiful moments with this class.

The best one resulted in tears.

In primary school I spend some time handwriting the roll to get to know as many kids as possible by name. It also provides an opportunity for the kids to see me as our pack leader. I find that it sets the tone for the day. This is also the time that the cheekiest kids will show themselves. And, as a result, we set the boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not.

I love this part of the day, and I always fall for the kids who show themselves during roll. On this day, that became reciprocated.

One of the kids participates in a group at the end of the day and leaves the room to do this. He had been looking forward to it all day. The other kids had told me he was usually really naughty, but today he was behaving perfectly. I was surprised when ten minutes after the start of this session, he arrived back in the room and stayed. I acknowledged him and when I had the opportunity, asked what had happened to his group. Bless.

“How come you’re back from your group?”

“I chose to come back. I figured that this might be the only day in my life that you are my teacher, and I didn’t want to waste a minute of it.”

I kid you not. Tears fell. I hugged him. He looked suitably abashed and absolutely chuffed.

That connection is what I miss not teaching every day, but that connection is the same as I build with my students through my business. There is more than one way to achieve what gives us greatest joy.

And, some of those ways don’t include the grief that comes with every day teaching.

Almost at the end of eight months of leave. I have three and abut months left before I heard back to full time teaching in December.

What a break.

I hold anger towards one participant from the events of last year. I hold that person in absolute contempt and am not looking forward to working with them again. I need to come to peace with this, need to move myself to a point where I do not care, one way or the other about their existence. From that point, I can work towards coming back to love.

I have been thinking about why I feel so strongly against this person. I think it is because they have never really shown themselves to be of integrated character. They are insecure and very ego driven, and impact a lot of other people in a negative way. They are divisive and consistently deceitful. They back kids into corners and do not hide their favouritism, marginalising and wilfully hurting the kids who are not favourites.

Picking up the pieces from broken kids is never fun, even less so when the damage is intentionally caused by a colleague. For me, their work and the intention behind it is so at odds with my own intention. I’ve stood up to this person many times, but I don’t think I should have to.

As adults, we should reflect, continually, on whether we are bringing light and love into our place, or not. If not, we should try to change our actions, ourselves, or move from that place to a place where we can manifest light and love. If we aren’t here to heal, ourselves and our people, then why are we here.

It is definitely not to self serve at the expense of others, particularly children.

As I push the soap box back underneath the bed.

Have a beautiful day.

🙏🏻

A Spiritual Journey

Just a quick one. Illness has taken hold of me. Lol.

1. I have been struggling to trust the universe with regards to money. I have been working so hard but money comes in and goes out. Trust is hard. I’m now sick, laughing at myself. A black feather made its way into my house. Just yesterday I was thinking, I never find feathers.

Okay. So you were listening and you were there. Black feathers represent healing and letting go in trust.

Yep.

2. I found a little picture thing on Facebook and a friend’s name kept being repeated, with urgency, in my head. I sent it to her. She said the timing was perfect; she needed to hear it. I’m sure she doesn’t believe it, but she did hear it.

The universe works in mysterious ways.

I trust.

I think that’s why one of my all time favourite movies, and I watch it every year, is Miracle on 34th Street. Faith. Trust. Santa is real.

Congestion

I have a blocked head and sore throat today; feeling shocking but laughing at myself through it.

A friend of mine just told me that I need to stop making myself sick so that I have to value myself. She is so right. A hard pill to swallow: truth.

Sore throats represent communication and congestion represents unresolved emotions. My life is too busy. I love working afternoons and into the evenings because I have the days. However, working for yourself isn't as stable an income as someone paying you, the same amount, regularly.

I am struggling emotionally with manifesting financial freedom; I am continually worried that bills won't get paid. I trust the universe but possibly not myself lol. So realistically, not really trusting at all. I need to work on this.

And on the value thing too.

Man. Did I mention I'm sick 😜🤣

Making It Real

I have been doing a LOT of reading lately. I am trying to manifest abundance, regularly set and stick to intentions, and mostly, trusting the universe to break connections to my old life. I do not want to go back to the life I lived that was not really any sort of happy life.

Much easier to say than do. And, I'm a nerd. I don't like getting things wrong.

I know that I have to stay the course; what I feed, I create.

I want my healing business to succeed. I want people to feel safe enough to embrace the life that waits for them. I want the same for myself.

I want to be a published author. I want financial freedom so that I can live this life without the constant worry of money and making ends meet.

I am grateful for everything that the universe has already supplied to me to empower this vision.

I had a test of all of this last night. I have a practise healing session today, postponed from last Monday because I was exhausted after working in a school as well as with all of my clients. I also received two offers of casual work. I declined both, putting the healing session and my client first, even though I know she would understand if I had to postpone again.

I went to sleep debating whether I had made the right choice. My savings are gone. The only money I am bringing in is from my tutoring business. I use it for food, petrol, and in the next fortnight, it will have to pay all of my fortnightly bills too. This is overwhelming.

I woke up this morning at 7; the natural time my body wakes. But for work, I need to be up by 630. Interesting in itself. Work makes me go against my body's natural rhythms. I opened my emails, only one, and Reid Tracy's Hay House newsletter was there. He wrote that the distinction between dreamers and successful people, is that successful people take action. That's it, they take action.

I have chosen to interpret that, in line with feeding that which I want to see thrive, as having made the right decision. For today. I have been offered work later in the week; I have accepted that single day. It makes next week's target more do-able.

We shall see. Any which way, I'm about to learn a lesson lol.

Trusting is not easy. This is the first step.