I forgot to forgive someone. Probably the most important someone. I forgot to forgive …
It was only after repeating a removing obstacles to abundance mantra that it clicked. I have never forgiven me. Not in all of these years.
I have blown my own mind. I have forgiven everyone except for myself. I have moved mountains to forgive all who have trespassed against me but I have never consciously forgiven me.
So, right now, as I am standing in my power, I say …
Tina, I forgive YOU.
I forgive you for hating yourself when you didn’t remember. I forgive you for the harm that you caused your self and your body. I forgive the cutting that you used to release the burdening pain inside; the screams that couldn’t be vocalised when you just wanted it all to stop and everything to go away. I forgive you for wanting to run away so many times during your life. I forgive you for wanting to suicide and for going as far as planning your own death. I forgive you for the sedation of your emotion through food. I forgive you for your experimentation with drugs, trying to dull the pain if not obliterate it entirely. I forgive you for the meaningless sex. I forgive you for sabotaging so many relationships. I forgive you for thinking you were unworthy for so many years. I forgive you for not realising just how beautiful and how amazing you truly are. I forgive you for not always fighting when you should have. I forgive you for the wrongs you have committed against others, for the blame and the hurt you have inflicted. I forgive you for not taking opportunities when they were presented because you were scared. I forgive you for not always being honest. I forgive you for not always being your best, for not always standing in your power, and for not always showing compassion when you could have. I forgive you your shadow self; for killing the spider and enjoying it, for willing harm to others, for struggling to forgive the liars that caused your reputation to be sullied. I forgive you for not defending those that couldn’t defend themselves, for not stepping in to altercations because you felt peer pressured to not get involved. I forgive you for not being quite ready to forgive the most recent liars. I forgive you for the evil streak that resides in your soul, the part that likes to swear out loud. I forgive you for biting your nails, for feeling anxious, for feeling alone. I forgive you for your depressions, your pain, your bitterness, your anger.
I forgive it all.
You are worthy. You have turned obstacles into opportunities. You give unconditionally. You love, almost unconditionally. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are strong. You are open. You are wise. You are resilient. You are …