Yesterday, after a horrendously emotional week, I had a facial and relived my Indian experience with my beautician before heading down to Kiama with a friend who had had an equally horrendous emotional week.
What a great decision.
Time with a good friend. Time outside. Time with nature.
We pulled up to the Blow Hole to see a pod of dolphins jumping. The Blow Hole itself was amazingly large; I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it blowing so high. Food. Ice cream at Gerringong. Stopping at random places. Laughing.
Gratitude that we live in such a beautiful country; gratitude that we live so close to the ocean; gratitude that we have the means to do what we did yesterday.
There is always a light, somewhere, in the darkness. For me, practicing daily gratitude for so long has shifted my psyche enough that even when I’m on the ledge, I feel empowered enough to get off. My misery days do not tend to keep going forever; I no longer feel continually hopeless.
I’ve had a rough year. I’ve also had an amazing pedagogical year. And personally, not enough balance but some amazing travel experiences that served to buoy my soul.
I’ve also learned to control what I can control when I can control it. And I’ve finally understood how perfect I am in my imperfection. I understand my value. I know I am beautiful. I know that I am significantly more than my mistakes and my flaws, and that I should not focus on these because they are the smallest part of who I am.
India blessed me with the gift of integration; I am whole. And now I must start living the life that I will create for myself. A life of peace, of calm, of travel, of love, of wealth, of sublime happiness and gratitude.
I deserve these things.
We all do.