Ahhh the joys of emotional processing and being coughed over by a sick toddler.
I have the morning off before heading out for more sight seeing this afternoon – the waterfall and sunset. I fly out from Kangra tomorrow early afternoon, back to Delhi for my flight home at 10.30pm tomorrow night, arriving in Sydney on Thursday night.
What an amazing two weeks!
I have met some incredible people, seen some amazing things, done some amazing things, and learned about myself more than I thought was possible. I have made some progress on developing my ideas for the sort of life that I want, and it isn’t what I came here from. I was already feeling that way.
But the difficulty is making the changes.
Small steps, small steps.
I no longer find joy in aspects of my teaching career; those parts need to change. I am most joyous when writing, learning and teaching ( but not necessarily in a school). I would like to develop my business but I’m not entirely sure in which direction; I think maybe more focus on meditation classes and group projects than counselling alone. But I’m open to whatever the universe is ready to show me.
I must say that the aspects of my career that I no longer find joyous have nothing to do with the kids; I adore the children and value my interactions with them, but these days, this is the smallest part of teaching as a career.
A time for deep inner reflection before arriving home and taking action. Only I have the power to create the life that I want and that I deserve. Empowering realisation, beyond the logic of it alone, and terrifying.
The changes will require the shedding of the identity I possess, and I remember when I first got rid of my dreads, that that was challenging as well as liberating. I think too, it will be difficult for those who know me. It might appear that I’ve lost my senses. I will need courage as well as conviction. And I will need patience.