Gratitude

The anxiety rollercoaster continues. But I can laugh at it. Today. 

Sometimes I think my life is a rollercoaster of events because I want to be able to understand and know everything, to be more empathetic. That is the result of this introspection and processing. I hope. 😉

It’s a positive reason for suffering: to learn, to grow, to become more resilient. 

One of my friends said that yesterday at work my face expressed that I was somewhere else. I did find it difficult to be present yesterday – in every moment. I did bring myself back as I realised I had drifted. The lack of control is difficult with anxiety. Maybe, the perception of lack of control. 

At any rate, it is difficult but not hopeless. I have taken control where I can. I am off work today. This is hard for me, assuaging the guilt that follows. But I was surrounded by people who told me, instructed me, dictated to me, that it was okay to put me first. And I trust and love these people, so they must be right. 

And I am grateful for that, and grateful for them. 

Amen. 

😃

  

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