A clean house. Washing done. Groceries done. Outdoor dining setting in garage waiting to be put together. High pressure hose borrowed. Just need the rain to stop.
My belly is still rough. But my head has the power at the moment to overule it. I want the anxiety to be gone but I know that it won’t until the cause is resolved, and I am not in control of that.
So, clean house, washing done, groceries done … You get the picture. I’m controlling what I can, acknowledging what I can’t and acknowledging how that makes me feel.
I have started to plan forward, consistently now over the last few days, and I’m looking forward to other things outside of work. I’m also preparing myself psychologically to fight the inequities that I realise now exist in some of the policies and procedures that govern the lives of teachers.
It’s been eight weeks now of anxiety every day. But time is giving me strength. Putting myself first is making me stronger. Making plans for my business and the backyard is making me stronger. Controlling consciously what I can is making me stronger.