Friendship – A Bitter Post

When I had my miscarriage a couple of years ago, some of you may recall, I felt very betrayed by some friends disappearing when I needed them most. In hindsight some of my feelings, or some of the intensity at least, may have been due to the massive amounts of hormones in my system. And I accept that. Mostly. 

As a result, I have tried to be more forthcoming with people. I have tried to open up, share my bad times, reach out, etcetera. 

I am going through a rough patch at the moment. One day I will talk about it broadly. I can’t do that today. And it’s irrelevant really, except that I’ve had flashbacks to those yucky times of miscarriage. 

I generally have a lot of friends. When people are sad or want help, I’m called. When I’m happy, people want to hang out and people touch base, etcetera. I know people are busy. I get that. 

But I would have hoped that the people I have opened up to, in my sadness/despair/anxiety, would touch base with me now. 

Lesson learned. 

There are quite a few people who won’t be hearing from me again. Friendship needs to go both ways. So many of mine don’t. 

Simply, I’m worth more. 

7 thoughts on “Friendship – A Bitter Post

  1. Damn right you’re worth more! These are the best times for “culling” though – when one is at her lowest.
    Much love to you. You’re truly a gem xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can understand – in more ways than one. You seem to not have expected too much in those difficult times and still want to take ownership of what you need to. The older I get, the more clearly and sharply it hits me just how little I should expect of people – even friends. And I do my best to remember they are reading my situation through their own filters, past and present, and any projections of fear into their future. When things are so painful for me, it’s easy to look out at everybody lounging on their GREEN, GREEN grass and assume they are doing hunky dorey. But who knows silent pain?

    Liked by 1 person

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