Raised To Fight 

We all know that I love aging. I say it often enough. I love the wisdom that comes with lived and processed experience. However, something we lose as we age is our ability to believe in a better world that we are responsible for fighting for

When I was younger, if I saw something wrong, I’d fight. Immediately. No regard for the consequences for myself. I’d just stand up. Alone. And fight. 

These days I’m more reticent. More fearful. 

When I was younger, I possessed a blind faith that if I was fighting the good fight, everything would work out okay. These days, that faith is gone. 

My dad reminded me this morning that when I was five, every time I was asked what I wanted to be, I would say, “A teacher.” For years, this was my response. I flirted with other professions from time to time, but always came back to teaching. 

As I grew older, I wanted to only ever be a public school teacher, and from there, only in ‘disadvantaged’ communities. My belief is that all children deserve quality teachers in front of them. 

I am a quality teacher. 

I can finally say that I believe that I am one of the very best quality teachers. My students inspire me to want to be better every day. I am always reflecting and always learning. Because I want to be the very best. 

Still, after all of these years. For forty years, public education has been my priority. 

And this year, well, there is a fight to be fought. 

I have mostly healed from a traumatic childhood. I have mostly healed from my journey through infertility and miscarriage. I have mostly healed from ongoing bouts of depression through my twenties and thirties. 

I say mostly because you never know when a trigger can be pulled. But I am mostly happy, content, fulfilled, passionate, committed, evolved. And I am strong. And my whole life has prepared me for this fight. 

But I am scared. And so I sit, waiting for signs. That’s what I tell myself. I think I’m really waiting for courage. 

Twenty seconds … 

Dear Ombudsman, Premier, Minister, MP, and the list goes on … 

Twenty seconds … 

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