It’s so bizarre. My whole life I’ve had battles to fight. Childhood trauma, gaining permanent employment, being the teacher I want to be, lifestyle choices, infertility, work issues. There has always been something.
You would think I’d be a fierce warrior by now – no fear, just go into battle and do my best. But, no. Fear still comes first. Overcoming fear may be becoming a faster process but it is still a process, and a process to be reckoned with.
I think even at my strongest points there has been an underlying base of fear within me. I guess that might be healthy, and might stop me from being unaware of consequences and impact.
It’s so much easier to give advice to others. Lol.
I woke up this morning and said, “Tina, if someone was in your position and they asked for your advice, what would you say to them?”
And my answer was unsurprising.
Take control. Write a letter. Tell your truth.
And so, now I am lying on the lounge, about to put a load of washing out, if I can move, drafting the letter in my head, and fighting the fear of the first step.
I will write the letter.
Just being human … Definitely feeling more myself.