Shame Memory 

I was driving to work the other day, listening to Brene talk about shame, and it lead me to reflect on the first moment I remember when I didn’t feel good enough. Luckily my drive to work is serene and I could recall, detached from emotion hehe. 

I really struggle with my perception of myself as attractive. I don’t see it consistently; sometimes I think it is there but, meh. It has impacted my confidence and my courage. And it started when I was about 7 or 8. Before that, who cares right. 

My mum was talking to a lady in a salon. My sisters and I were there. I am the oldest and although I was born blonde, by this stage my hair had darkened. My sisters were both blonde. They were ultra skinny; I was more average. 

The lady in the salon turned to the three of us and said, I shit you not, something along the lines of, “Aren’t your two blonde girls so pretty.”

Yep. I still carry anger and resentment. I can see her face and the words flying through my head make me smile maniacally. Yep. 

What can one say to that?

😉 

That’s why I’m so intelligent, nerdy and funny – knew I’d never get by on my looks [tongue in cheek].

Anyway, today there was a spider in the staff room, walking across the desk without a care. This was my reaction:

  

3 thoughts on “Shame Memory 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s