Yes. I’m sorry. I am still her disciple. In case you’re not up to date, I’m referring to Brene Brown.
I have found that as a result of reading her books, Daring Greatly and Rising Strong during the holidays, I have slightly modified the language that I’m using with my kids (students) to assist them in resolving conflict with each other, and to understand their deeper motivations.
Kids will always revert to defensive behaviours when they feel attacked and/or judged and/or threatened. They don’t all have the necessary knowledge to dig deeper than reaction. Having said that, would it be fair to say that most adults struggle with that too?
I have always asked them to dig deep to resolve the root issue for whatever causes the behaviour, but now I am also teaching them about vulnerability and shame. And it has been quite successful to this point, working very effectively with the principles of Restorative Justice.
It is also inspiring me to move away from more punitive measures like Formal Cautions of Suspension. We are working together to try to resolve the core cause rather than just bandaiding the symptoms of the cause.
I hope that it continues to work. And that I don’t become too tired/too busy to use it.