You know when something is so funny that you laugh so hard you double over, cry and make no sound?
That was last night with Dawn French. Continually.
But that wasn’t all. Laughter is great. It is entertaining. But Dawn French did more than entertain. She inspired, she motivated, she validated.
30 000 000 Minutes is the story of the poignant moments, people and wisdom that constitute her first 58 or so years. And her story, in many parts, was my story, and probably your story. Her show is the story of the human condition: trials, challenges, pain, love, laughter and lessons. Beautifully woven into comedy and storytelling, genuinely, authentically, emotionally.
I never knew she couldn’t have children. She tried IVF and similarly to me, she miscarried. I was jolted. The serious moment, serious voice, mirrored my experience and my process. Except that I have talked about it, written about it, blogged about it. I didn’t keep it private. I think it would have killed me if I had.
And I am grateful that times have changed enough that childlessness and infertility is not as taboo as it once was.
I am moving in to acceptance. I have started apologising to those that I hurt during the very dark parts of my journey. I also need to thank those that supported me in a way that I could see.
It’s not an easy journey, and definitely not a fast journey. But it is a journey that tests every fibre of your soul and your life, and those that survive it, verge on heroic, I think. As those that survive anything, verge on heroic.
Life isn’t easy. It really wasn’t meant to be. Without the darkness we lose appreciation for the light. And the light ALWAYS emerges … in its time.
Don’t give up.
The light is beautiful.