Giving Yourself Permission

This post isn’t about me even though I’m using anecdotes from my life to illustrate my point. 

I love Christmas but hate December, and as a result have no Christmas cheer. Not in any way, shape or form. I haven’t put my tree up yet. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not. 

And that’s okay. 

I can’t control the way I feel. The last three Decembers have been horrible. 

Three years ago one of my best friends died. 

Two years ago I miscarried. 

Last year everything broke. 

This year death marked November and a funeral and lots of welfare have marked December. 

I think I’m still moving through cumulative grief. 

And that’s okay. 

I’ve given myself permission to do what I need to do. I’ve given myself permission to not buy presents this year, to not put the tree up, to not leave the house at Christmas, and to watch Christmas movies because I love the hope and promise they offer. 

I’m not Grinch. But I’m grieving still. 

And that’s okay. 

I can only control so much, specifically my choices and responses. And even though everyone thinks I should do certain things, it’s okay for me not to. 

More than that, it’s okay for all of us to do what we want to do (short of inflicting suffering on others). It’s okay for you to give yourself permission to fulfill your needs first. 

And if you can’t give yourself permission, I will give you permission. 

I give you permission to follow your bliss, to do what will bring you the most happiness and/or the least suffering. 

Because I love you. 

3 thoughts on “Giving Yourself Permission

  1. I am a huge lover of Christmas movies. I am currently planning my Christmas movie binge which basically equals a week of Christmas movies leading up to the 25th. I wrap whilst I watch 🙂
    I even like the straight to TV Christmas movies.
    I am totally not ashamed of this hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

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