Nervousness

I have received contact from Fostering Young Lives; about to confirm my appointment times throughout December and January for the continuation of the application process to become a foster carer. 

And I am so nervous. 

The unknown does that. Insert nervous giggle. 

I am sure that I could be a good foster parent. I think I have resolved most of my issues as a human being. At least enough to make healthy decisions regarding parenting responsibilities. 

I think I am nervous because whilst I feel I will be accepted as a carer, I know nothing beyond that. And there is always a fear that I could be a bad carer, that it will be way too hard, and that maybe I’m not ready to sacrifice the freedom of my life. 

All big questions, and funnily enough, the same questions and fears I had throughout my IVF cycles if I became pregnant and carried successfully to term. 

My logic says that the fears and questions are sensible, even healthy, and so if I am questioning but continuing the process, then it will be okay because this is the path that I am meant to be on. Realistically, the path that I continue to choose to be on. 

I really am grasping my life and giving it a good shake. 

And it’s empowering more than nerve wracking. But the nerves are there. So many unknowns. 

Will I be at my school next year? Will I start my business by running my first workshops next year? Will I become a foster carer next year? Will I be successful? Will one happy? 

What I do know is that life is incredibly short. And none of us know what tomorrow will bring or when we will take our last breath. And that it is our individual responsibility to be the best we can be and to live the best life we can live. 

I feel that I am succeeding in trying. 

Fear is not crippling me. 

20 thoughts on “Nervousness

  1. There is nothing wrong with being nervous or worried. If anything I think it shows that you have great character and truly want to provide the best for these children. Each child will be different and come with their own challenges, but I feel that having worked with kids in schools you will be uniquely qualified and experienced in figuring out a child’s needs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

          • I am okay, I am hoping 2016 is my year too. There’s lots going on with building a house and trying for babies and whatnot so I am hoping that 2016 works it all out for us.
            Christmas is my favourite time of year because we get to see so much extended family so that is helping to combat stress from everything that is going on.
            Interestingly I ran an experiment over the past month; I smiled more and whenever someone said something negative to me I either tried to provide a silver lining for them, support or responded positively (when people were bitching about change they didn’t want) and it made a big difference. Last night Hubby actually said how much he appreciates me and thanked me for being who I am. On the other side of things some people at work asked why I am always so happy and implied my happiness was medically assisted. I was pretty offended so replied, “oh you don’t need pills when you have Irish coffee” luckily the boss knows my humour haha.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. No matter what challenges come up in being a foster carer you will succeed, you will find a way to deal with them and come up with a solution to the problem just like you always do. You will an amazing foster carer and any child will be lucky to be placed with you because the love you will share, the time and effort you will devote. You are one hell of a second mum to me and I know you will be the same if not better foster mum! You can do this, this is where you are suppose to be heading. It’s your next step in becoming whole. I know you can do this and I love you very very much 😘❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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