I am not a fan of the Tina that I sometimes am at work.
Outside of work Tina is absolutely adorable. I love her to bits. She is funny, patient, compassionate, empathetic, grounded, calm, absolutely loveable.
Work Tina is sometimes that Tina but increasingly less so.
The universe gives us signs. I think this is one of them so I am preparing myself to make some necessary changes; I’m just not sure what they will be. But I trust the universe and I will need to avail myself of opportunity as it comes.
Some of you may argue that Work Tina is still all of those lovely adjectives. At one point today though I arrived into the staff room and told Sara that I really don’t like who I am becoming at work.
I am snappy. I don’t smile (as much). I am disgruntled. I am unhappy.
Foolishly [laced with sarcasm] I am under the delusion that people, all people, should treat each other kindly. We don’t take out our baggage on others, and if we feel that we need to, we excuse ourselves from company. We don’t corrupt another person’s happiness.
However, when mine is corrupted I then corrupt the happiness and peace of others. Because I can’t excuse myself. And I HATE that.
Really hate that.
I can’t find my happy, safe place at work.
Keeping in mind I am middle management in a hectic workplace. Toileting is a luxury denied many lol.