Clarification

One of the things that I really liked about Thirlmere once I arrived here was that there is a Yoga Space literally around the corner. I have not signed up for any yoga yet but the meditation was appealing. This afternoon I attended a Deep Healing Meditation workshop hosted by Alex from Angelic Space there. This will become a fortnightly arrangement on Saturday afternoon.

I have felt within my soul for a while now that teaching isn’t the only thing I will be doing in my life; definitely not the only thing I want to do this lifetime. Teaching is so stressful. It has significant rewards and I truly do love it but there is more. I long for a calm life. A life where I do not have to raise my voice, do not have to navigate politics and people’s egos, do not have to work exceptionally long hours sacrificing everything else. My ideal life would consist of some teaching, some writing, some meditation, some spiritual practice, lots of nature, my own business … yes. Ideal.

One of the activities that I had to complete when I was studying to become a certified meditation teacher and holistic counsellor was to describe our future intentions and ideal workspace. I described mine completely. I could see it. I could see the view from the windows. It is a beautiful space. Elegant, open, natural. Beautiful.

I saw it today during my meditation. I saw it and it was busy. I was standing behind a counter, dressed in a white loose tunic type outfit, hair in a loose bun, very serene and exceptionally happy, a hive of activity surrounding me. I was running a successful healing practice in the bush that I owned. I was very successful. It was very successful. I was very happy. Still teaching, but a different type of teaching. Bliss.

I saw my first step towards attaining this dream. And it starts in the here and now. I just have to trust and not worry that I don’t have an adult education qualification, or the space to run this idea. It is a writing workshop. A writing workshop that leads to healing. Writing to heal. Writing to progress. Writing to happiness. My first step.

There will be obstacles. My first classes will be small but word will spread, and so will my ideas.

My main obstacle to everything (as it is for most people) is fear. For part of the  meditation we see ourselves sitting and looking into a fire. My child self was looking in and my adult self was reflected back. My fear began in childhood. We all know why. I have written about it before … a lot lol. A powerful image though, in my mind, to see child Tina and adult Tina together. Neither upset. Both quite at peace.

My maternal grandparents visited, smiling; finally happy that I am acknowledging my true calling (they first appeared years ago in a reading that my now very good friend Jen gave to me; they were beckoning me to open up to the potential and possibility then, and that was four or five years ago). Natalie came and held my hand, she too was laughing. And she had brought with her my little girl. My little girl first appeared to me prior to my second last IVF cycle. She kept appearing and would chat away to me. A beautiful little blonde girl, looking similarly to my sister Sandra when she was a little girl. I was surrounded by love throughout my meditation.

And then the chakras. Colour and feeling with all except the chakra over my reproductive organs. All I could see there was blackness – it was barren. I am still processing the meanings here; they could be anything. Time will tell.

Amazing. And I think I have forgotten aspects of it. The card reading afterwards cemented all of what I deciphered during the meditation.

Trusting our intuition, our spirit, our guides, is one of the hardest things to do but one of the most vital if we are to live our true paths and answer our true callings throughout our lifetimes. I think my experiences in New York will consolidate today’s meditation. I am at least, trusting that. I am moving quickly now, and I am loving the ride.

Thank you Kay and Kylie for sharing my experience, and Alex for facilitating it.

❤ Love and light to all ❤

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