Pause. Stop. Rewind. Play.

I am not exactly sure how to start this one. Usually I would wait until the thoughts have processed themselves; words form themselves then.

I rang one of the Foster Care agencies this morning. We had played phone tag for most of Friday afternoon. I was excited about the prospect of being able to support and help provide opportunity for young children. And that was probably my first mistake. Actually, getting up this morning was probably my first mistake today. This, a close second.

I knew it wouldn’t be an easy process. Any process that entrusts children in to a stranger’s care can’t be too easy. But I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for me. I was a bit too honest and as a result, the lady doesn’t think I should apply now to be a foster carer. I’ll explain …

She asked some basic questions relating to age, health, smoking status, occupation, marital status, other children, housing … and this is where I cam unstuck. Rather than saying, plain and simple, that I was renting, I was honest and outlined my plans for the next two years. I thought I should be honest about it.

I wish I hadn’t been. I feel like such a dick now.

Kids in care need stability. The process takes six months. If I were to move in the next two years, I would not be able to offer a stable environment.

I have no idea how I managed to continue the conversation. Tears were streaming down my face well before I hung up the phone.

It’s just not fair.

She is still sending me the information package but has said that she wouldn’t start the process until I was in a stable, long term home.

I am thinking of arguing my case further.

But man, today I am just going to cry until I have no tears left.

14 thoughts on “Pause. Stop. Rewind. Play.

  1. Stability is an illusion. Natural parents or carers could, through unforeseen circumstances, have to move too. This is a silly reason. Don’t take one persons word as gospel . Do not stop at one foster care agency. Apply. Everywhere. Go through the process.

    Liked by 2 people

    • They ask if you’ve applied elsewhere and then why … Tonight I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow is a new day. Shitty day at work too. Meh – wearing my tiara tonight 😉


  2. Oh Tina. My heart is breaking for you. Don’t give up on this one hurdle. What’s more stable than a loving home, wherever that home is or how often u move. Big hugs to u xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wonder what happens to the children while good people are turned away?
    Can the sins of the past century be reversed by over tightening future criteria? Hang in there till they realise how much you have to give

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A Home is not created by bricks and mortar. “Home” is a feeling…it is that sense of belonging and a safe haven. You are more than able to provide the love and security a foster care child needs…that’s your argument! xx Kylie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! Yeah I figure I’ll let them know that I’m not your normal adult where children and healing are concerned. The stability comes from who I am not the structure. 😘


  5. Strongs amiga mia. There will be a point where the agencies will be hounding you because you will be the beloved foster parent in your area. Everyone will want Tina. I’m psychic – I should know! Well, not really. Just a little. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so sorry you’ve been put on hold after making such an awesome life decision. Best wishes finding your path. (It may not help, but I sometimes find that if one of my plans or projects gets stuck, if I leave it be and focus on another area in my life, solving these new problems/challenges, clears the original obstacles as well – hope that helps)

    Liked by 1 person

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