One Step – Giving the Self Permission

I had an amazing day today; I knew it would be. I’m still processing the magnitude of it but wanted to capture some of its rawness too.

I saw Liz Gilbert today at the Sydney Opera House. She came onstage and took her shoes off, waved to the audience who started clapping with her first step on stage, and was then unnecessarily introduced.

I welled up. My shoes were already off. Not because I had a broken toe but because I hate shoes. Life is better without them; more organic. Feral hippie I know.

Before she spoke I knew … I could sense the energy in my universe shifting … Felt myself returning to my self. I haven’t been there in a fair few weeks. And have hated it. It resulted in two serious bouts of illness; one I am still fighting.

And then Liz spoke. Genuine, authentic, rooted in experience, and I started making decisions.

How To Be Creative …

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Ultimately that was the message. And I heard it.

Within five minutes answers flooded in …

Drop to part time teaching – one day to write each week.

Write my Teaching Manifesto. I’m good at teaching; I have a lot of wisdom to share. And it’s time I do.

Don’t make everything perfect. It’s okay for characters to be flawed, stories to have holes, spelling to be wrong (over my dead body lol), nothing to ever be published …

I love writing.

It is when I feel most liberated, most empowered, most alive. So do it. Just do it. No more excuses. No more wasted time. Embrace my opportunities and make the necessary sacrifices. I just need enough money for the basics. I don’t need hundreds of dresses. Tattoos. Books 😳 maybe ignore that one lol.

And it is time …

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6 thoughts on “One Step – Giving the Self Permission

  1. Yes. I have been giving you this advice for a while….do it. You gave established yourself enough in school to be part time. The kids will just think it is a split load anyway. Think of all the other people who take part time leave for years…never affects career progression or teaching success. May, in some places, mean less senior teaching but even then that can be ‘releasing’. I have to have an operation in August that has a six week recovery period….so I took a English studies and a literacy class to lighten the examinable load. I miss my extensions but I feel like the breather is good too. Do it. Make it happen. It is time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. It is time. I finally believe that I am worth making myself the priority. Like I seriously felt the switch turn today – it’s been coming for years and years – you are right – but I wasn’t ready to believe it.

      Thank you jowen!

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  2. Ps…when I saved to take the kids to America I did not buy any new clothes for a whole year. Totally out of character, totally worth it. Since then I changed buying habits, it was really a great thing to do. Going part time will not reduce your wage significantly and I support 5 of us on that wage….you can keep your books, you’ll have plenty! Love xxxxxxx

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    • Hehe that was my logic too. The only thing it may impact is the baby journey but I figure what will be will be and the money will be there when I need it. Or not and that’s ok too.

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